How to break free from expectations
Expectation is an interesting concept, whether it’s expecting something from a job, friend, teacher, or family member. It’s easy for us to expect all these things from other people, but we don’t like it when others are expecting something from us.
In this world we live in, there are expectations everywhere! When we do something for someone, it’s natural to expect something in return, or when you accomplish something, we expect to be congratulated.
There are other expectations too, such as people expecting you to get good grades, get the best promotion, or be the best in all you do. Or it’s the opposite, people expect you to slack off, mess up, or get into trouble. No matter which way you have experienced, we have all dealt with expectations in one way or another.
Different kinds of expectations
Expectations can be powerful things, whether good or bad. Maybe you feel you have to meet expectations in the world, that you have to follow society’s standards for your life. Or perhaps you feel a great deal of pressure in the expectations to be the best in everything, and that is the key to success. Maybe, you are crushed by the expectations that you won’t amount to anything in the world or people telling you that you are not enough.
I’m going to talk about working with different expectations and how to live without the fear of not meeting them.
The first thing about expectations is that they are not all bad. Sometimes they can help motivate or help you get things done when someone is counting on you. For example, in my house us kids are expected to do our assigned chores, and our parents are counting on us to do them. Now sometimes we mess up or forget to do them, but when I know that my parents are expecting me to do them, it can help me get it done.
The worlds expectations
Although there are some excellent things about expectations, there are also some negative things about them. They can cripple someone’s ability to grow, they put us in a box that we feel we have to fit in, and when we don’t we can feel unworthy. God didn’t create us to all be in the same box, he created us each with our own unique personalities and has beautiful plans for all of us.
When we feel pressure to meet expectations in the world, it can stifle our growth into who God created us to be and do. For example, when a high school senior is trying to figure out their next step, it can be extremely stressful. There is an expectation in our culture to get good grades, go to college, get a well-paying job, start a family, etc.
But not everyone’s road is the same, maybe you want to take a gap year, go travel, or you already have your career worked out, and that’s amazing! God has amazing plans for all of us, and when we succumb to the expectations of this world, even when we feel God calling us in another direction, then we miss out on something that he can do in our lives.
Romans 12: 2 says, “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” We can’t fall prey to the expectations of this world, especially when you feel God’s call in another direction.
High expectations
Maybe you feel pressure in the expectation to be great at everything and do well in everything. This pressure can be hazardous because when we mess up, this can make it extremely hard to move past it, and we begin to believe lies about ourselves.
Perphaps you feel pressure from your parents to get the best grades, be perfect at home, and be the most successful. Perhaps you are an adult and still feel that kind of pressure from your parents or other people in your life. Or maybe you put that kind of expectation on yourself (I struggle with this) that you have to get the best grades and be a good person, and when you don’t meet your standards, you feel like a failure.
When you are always striving to meet unrealistic expectations, it can make you feel like you are not enough as you are. That you have to prove that you are worthy, I want you to hear something right now. That is not true! God made you perfect just the way you are, and you don’t have to prove anything to him, and your success, work, school, (fill in the blank) does not define you, only God defines you.
Ephesians 2:10 says, “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” We are made to walk in the kingdom of heaven, not to walk and please the world.
Low expectations
Maybe you are in a different boat, perhaps you feel the expectations that you aren’t good enough, that you won’t be successful, or that you won’t amount to anything. This kind of expectation is heartbreaking because it causes people to believe lies about themselves, and they start to believe them. For those of you that feel that way, I want to tell you that you are enough, that God created you for a fantastic purpose that will fulfill you in more ways than you can imagine.
I want you to know that expectations don’t define you, break through them! Someone is telling you that you can’t get into the right college, breakthrough that expectation, and prove them wrong. Someone is telling you that you can’t be a successful artist, breakthrough that expectation, and say, “watch me.”
The thing about God is that he has no bounds; he created us with a purpose, and not all of us have the same purpose in life. Expectations lead us to believe we have to be a certain way, or do a sure thing, or live up to some standard, but that’s not the way God made us. He made each of us with our own standard; my standard is the Gracie standard that God made for me, and yours may be completely different.
We should only seek to meet God’s standards
Another thing about expectations is that they are all about pleasing someone, whether it’s other people or yourself. But those voices don’t matter as much as God’s voice; he should be the only one we should try to please, yes he calls us to live a certain way, but the difference with his is that when we mess up God doesn’t make us feel like a failure. He picks us up and tells us we are his beloved children who are not defined by our mistakes or the world’s expectations.
Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” He is holding us in his hands, and his plans for us are so much greater than the expectations of the world, and his plans we leave us feeling fulfilled, not that we are not enough.
Break free
So break free!! Break free from all the expectations in your life no matter where they come from. Live in the promise that God calls us as we are and that he created us perfectly in him for his purposes, not the worlds.
I hope that this helps you live in the plans God has for your life! Please check out my true beauty post about living in what God says about beauty https://livinglifewithgracie.com/true-beauty/. I hope you know that you are fully known and fully loved. Please reach out, I am always happy to talk! How are you breaking free from the world’s expectations??
-Gracie K
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